How To Manage Your Self Talk

The secret sauce that distinguishes those who succeed from those who fail is none other than self-confidence.

The surprising thing for most new business owners is that self-confidence is something you actually can improve yourself.

Self-confidence begins as an inside job

You will hear many successful entrepreneurs talk about their daily practices of mindfulness. This may be counter-intuitive… many people feel as though confidence comes from other’s comments and admiration… BUT it does not. In fact, your self talk fuels your courage and what you choose to take on in the outer world (or not).

Your self-concept is composed of what you think, say, do, and do not do.

Your entire internal experience is comprised of self talk: how you handle rejection, your coping skills, your mindset,  your attitude, and the ongoing inner dialogue with your ‘inner critic’ and the experiences that you find daily.

Your self-talk can be either positive or negative. It is comprised of many factors, some of which are your natural personality style, your family of origin, the social styles of your authority figures while growing up, your environment and your current situation to name a few of the biggies! What you do has much to do with how much authority you give your self-talk. For those who remain stuck between desire and action – it’s time to have a sit-down with your ‘inner critic’.

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Introducing: Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic is that little voice inside your head that guides you and keeps you from dangerous things. The problem is, that most of our inner critics are developed when we are VERY young, along with our thoughts and belief systems. The thing is, the inner critic is often driving your every decision.

So many people are unaware of their inner critic and it’s power over their actions. And often just simple raised awareness makes a difference. When you become aware of your inner voice, drop back and observe your thoughts. Become aware and more conscious of the messages your inner critic sends.  Depending on the task or situation at hand, at times it may seem like you have an inner critic, and at others you have an entire inner committee in your head!

With raised consciousness, you’ll be able to determine if a particular thought or pattern emerges that is unkind, scary or even brutal. When you notice that this information no longer serves your desires, recognize it and then redirect your focus to what you want. This may take a bit of practice and time.

Remember to be kind to yourself as you are gaining awareness and strengthening your will. As soon as your inner critic rears it’s head, recognize it for what it is, stop the train and get off ! Then replace your negative self talk with affirming thoughts and gratefulness. Positivity soon becomes affirmation, affirmation becomes action, and successful actions lead to increased confidence.

This Week’s Sanity Assignment

1. This week, wear a rubber band around your wrist. (Yep, I’m going here… its simply to raise consciousness, not to hurt your wrist…)
2. Every time you can identify your inner critic or inner committee voice putting you down, stopping you or undermining your confidence, snap your wrist with the rubber band.
3. Notice how often your inner critic shows up daily.
4. Each evening before you retire, have a conversation with your inner voice and let it know that you will no longer tolerate its opinion and that your conscious mind will be in charge of your decisions from now on.
5. Every morning when you awaken, thank your inner critic for guiding you this far, and let it know that you are in charge and fully capable to carry on as an adult.

Self confidence is dramatically affected by doing things that are challenging…  In other words, the very places we tend to stop are likely the exact things we must do to grow. Confidence grows as you attempt and accomplish challenging tasks.

Finding courage to launch, maintain, manage and market your business is an ever-growing and living process. Managing your mindset is the first place to begin to build self-confidence in your business.

If you’re struggling with self-confidence and would like the gentle guidance of a self-paced program, weekly private challenges (like the assignment above) and the resulting  increased self-esteem when you confront your confidence phobias and create incremental successes, check out this on-line workshop: 52 Weeks To Confident by clicking this link.

What are your secrets to confidence? Where do you struggle and get stopped?

I’d love to know! Please comment below!