Are you a clutter victim? Many people who struggle with clutter are stuck in the ‘victim’ role. When you’re in a victim role you have feelings of powerlessness, no energy, and disappointment. If you feel this way about your cluttered home, you’re likely playing out the victim role. However, don’t lose faith. There’s hope for you to step into a powerful mindset and regain control.
Are you a Clutter Victim?
Check-in with yourself. Do you have a secret conversation in your head with the inanimate objects around you? Or do you sometimes feel things have secretly banded against you to bully you? While in your cluttered spaces, do you frequently feel overwhelmed and uncontrolled?
The “Victim” is someone who usually feels overwhelmed by their own sense of vulnerability, inadequacy or powerlessness, and does not take responsibility for themselves or their own power. Because of this victim tendency, one of the most difficult dimensions to define, discover, and change when addressing clutter situations is the SELF dimension.
As a matter of fact, it is your mindset and thoughts where we need to begin to address clutter. Because this is where you reflect on your behavior and decide if you’re a clutter victim after all.
Mahatma Ghandi introduces this concept beautifully in the following statement:
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
thoughts become your words,
words become your actions,
actions become your habits,
habits become your values,
and your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Examine your thoughts, words, and actions
By examining your thoughts, words, and actions – you can zero in on whether your self-talk is one of your current limitations.
Do you say things like:
- I’m overwhelmed!
- How all this stuff got here?
- It’s a constant barrage of stuff, stuff, and more stuff.
- I never feel any relief!
- Will someone show up at my door and make it all go away?
If these statements sound like you – you could be trapped in the victim role, blaming your clutter as your personal persecutor.
Although there are considerable contributing factors to overwhelm such as anxiety, ADHD, OCD, unresolved grief, anger management, and others, the victim role can be exacerbated because you’re used to playing the role. For many people, victimization is an old, outdated habit. Left unchecked though, it can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
(If you think you may have other related mental health conditions that may be affecting your ability to cope, see Knowledge Heals. A web resource compiled by Debbie Stanley who is bridging the gap between the world of disorder, and related mental health conditions.)
How to release clutter
When you’re a clutter victim, it can feel like it will never end. So, in order to find sanity and peace it’s essential for you to start strong. Here are some ways you can release clutter.
- Check your thoughts, and statements for clutter victim statements.
- Learn to see and recognize this behavior in yourself and notice it when it shows up.
- The next is to surrender to the truth. If you do this, then accept it as so – as in – “Yep, this is me… I blame others for the clutter.”
- Find support! Look for resources, people, and systems before you can change the current behaviors. This way, when you do, you’ll have things to fall back on.
It’s a little like dieting. When you actually make the commitment to lose weight and make a change, the first thing you do is get on a scale to measure where you are now. Without seeing this, it’s hard to know where you are and how you may have success.
When you’re a clutter victim, small successes matter. Clutter takes time to show up, and it will take time to undo. So let’s check in with your own thoughts about whether you’re a victim of clutter, or not.
How to know if you’re a clutter victim
- Check your self-talk. How do you speak about your cluttered space?
- Do you feel victimized?
- How does clutter and disorganized living affect your energy?
- Do you rely on others to do things for you?
- Does wishful thinking of being rescued by someone else feel all too possible?
You’ll have a much higher likelihood of success with eliminating clutter when you focus on yourself and what you can change. Even a slight shift, if done consistently can make a BIG difference over time.
Then you should simply practice letting go of things you cannot change. Attempting to change things over which you have no control, only leads to spinning wheels, frustration and disappointment.
When you focus on implementing just one change at a time. What would actually happen if you chose just ONE behavior to alter this week: hang up your keys when you come in, put your clothes away when you undress, chose a place for something that you are constantly searching to find….
Focused goals are much more achievable and more meaningful. Focused actions get results. And, action creates more action. Success only happens one step at a time, so get started today. The TSSI can help you begin your journey to declutter and live your life more powerfully.