If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, you are not alone! Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a common condition that affects 17 million people in the United States. Of those 17 million, 80% have at least one other existing condition, such as anxiety, depression, or other learning differences. ADHD can additionally be an underlyer for risky behaviors such as drug or alcohol abuse. One of the reasons women are chronically under-diagnosed is found in the stigma associated with ADHD. Historically, ADHD was erroneously perceived as a condition affecting only young boys. Given this historical perception, the ADHD field needs more research to look into the effects of ADHD on women and girls since early intervention has been shown to positively affect the treatment of ADHD.
Women are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD later in life. The childhood ratio of ADHD between boys and girls is 3:1, while the adult ratio is closer to 1:1. ADHD in girls is often overlooked, since it is most likely to present as inattentive ADHD, in contrast to a hyperactive-impulsivity characteristic of young boys with ADHD. Additionally, girls and women are more likely to mask symptoms of ADHD. Given the late diagnosis, women often struggle privately and develop patterns that tend to blame themselves for their ADHD symptoms. When girls are not diagnosed during school age, it is common for them to experience private emotional dysregulation by feeling stupid or lazy in the wake of symptoms that can fly under the radar for decades. Over time, this pattern negatively affects women’s self-esteem and identity.
Women-centric ADHD Research
Besides the fact that ADHD is not as widely studied in women and girls, gender roles play a big role in later-in-life diagnosis for women. Typical ADHD behaviors, such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, and disorganization are not seen by society as feminine behaviors. Because of this, girls and women make an effort to mask ADHD symptoms to fit into societal norms, leading to a delayed diagnosis. Additionally, depression and anxiety are common conditions found in women with ADHD. This can lead to medical professionals only diagnosing depression or anxiety, while not addressing ADHD symptoms.
Late diagnosis of ADHD can damage women’s mental health. You may experience both relief and sadness to be diagnosed with ADHD later in your life. Navigating a new adult ADHD diagnosis can cause feelings of grief. You can learn more about the stages of grief in a new ADHD diagnosis here. However, once you are diagnosed, take steps to regain control of your life and manage your ADHD symptoms.
NAVIGATING YOUR LATER-IN-LIFE DIAGNOSIS
In Sari Solden and Michelle Frank’s groundbreaking book, “A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD: Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly, and Break Through Barriers”, they offer 14 tips to help women navigate an ADHD diagnosis. These tips can help you move toward the edge of your comfort zone, and challenge you to restructure your life in a way that is authentic to your ADHD diagnosis.
To move toward the edge of your ADHD comfort zones, the authors suggest to:
1. Ask for accommodations at work
Asking for reasonable accommodations at work can help you manage ADHD symptoms and prevent burnout. You can check out these 8 effective coping strategies for professional women with ADHD here.
2. Make requests for changes at home
If you and your partner are stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns at home, you can try these 4 ways to avoid chore wars as an ADHD adult here.
3. Assert ADHD needs to others without disclosing the diagnosis
Workplaces are becoming increasingly more supportive of individuals’ needs. This is especially true in our post-Covid 19 work-from-home reality. The work from home culture offers a large degree of flexibility for many people. You need to negotiate your needs and set clear boundaries at work, especially when you work from home. Clear boundaries make everything easier.
4. Ask loved ones to learn about ADHD
Since ADHD is a condition that hides in plain sight for many, it can be hard for peers and loved ones to recognize your real struggles with executive function. A supportive environment is essential for creating a life that fits you. When others learn more about executive function challenges associated with the condition, they can help you manage your environment, needs and boundaries more effectively.
5. Prioritize time for yourself and keep that commitment
Journaling can be a great way to take some time for yourself. People with ADHD are typically verbal processors. Journaling can be a great way to organize your thoughts and take some time for yourself to re-center.
6. Try something new and stick to it a bit longer than before
A new routine to incorporate into your life could be mindfulness meditation. Mindful meditation has been proven to reduce ADHD symptoms. You can try an easy 2-minute mindful meditation here.
Relationships Matter For Later-In-Life Diagnosed Women with ADHD
A new ADHD diagnosis can be shocking. Many women find it helpful to fortify their relationships with people who already know, love, and trust them. Here are additional relationship skills to practice if you’re new to an ADHD diagnosis later in life.
Meet new people and go to support groups
Joining an ADHD support group can be a great way to learn more about managing ADHD with people going through similar experiences. You can find a group and other helpful resources through CHADD.
Rebuild friendships after losing touch
Make a list of people you’ve lost touch with and reach out to make plans with them over the coming months. When you focus on FUN you’ll find old connections to be healing and helpful.
Call your friends
Passing over the threshold between thinking about something and doing something about it is hard with ADHD. When you choose a simple task like ‘make 2 phone calls to friends weekly, you practice the behavior and make it easier.
Go back to school, get a certificate, or take a class for fun in an area of interest
Many women who have a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis are life-long learners. If this is you, recommit to your endless interest and take a class!
Assert yourself with loved ones in relationships
Many women with ADHD grow up to be people pleasers. When you practice asserting your boundaries it will help you feel more confident.
Volunteer to help an ADHD education group, organization or at an awareness event
Perhaps volunteer at a local school or consider tutoring students with ADHD outside of the classroom.
CONCLUSION
Women are more likely to get later in life ADHD diagnoses. A later-in-life ADHD diagnosis can be destabilizing and bring up feelings of grief. It can also be a way to reshape your life and treat ADHD symptoms. Check out my article for more tips on how to handle a new ADHD diagnosis. An ADHD Coach can be a neutral third party to help you cope with your adult ADHD diagnosis. We can work through your grief and emotions that come with a new ADHD diagnosis. We can also provide helpful tools to navigate through an ADHD diagnosis. If you are looking for an ADHD Coach, book a complimentary Discovery Call to learn more.
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