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Is it Social Anxiety or Adult ADHD

January 22, 2023 by Cena Block · Leave a Comment

The Link Between Social Anxiety and ADHD

Sane Space, LLC Social Anxiety and ADHD

Image Source Deposit Photos 36174233

You get a call from an unfamiliar number and automatically hit end so you can avoid picking it up.

Calling to make appointments you need, seems like an insurmountable task.

You rehearse your drive-through order over and over while waiting in line so you don’t accidentally mess it up.

You’re mysteriously ill every time you have to share a project status update. It’s simply the thought of public speaking absolutely terrifies you.

What if it’s not you – instead, it’s the double-zinger of social anxiety and adult ADHD.

In one study consisting of 73 adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), 40% were found to also meet the DSM-IV criteria for Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD).

Although the number is alarmingly high, it shouldn’t really come as a shock to those living with ADHD.

Executive Functions, ADHD and Social Anxiety

Most people with ADHD have difficulty with executive functions like self-awareness and emotional regulation. They often can’t “read” people or situations the way their neurotypical peers can. This leads to awkward behaviors like talking too much, missing social cues, oversharing, or droning on when one else seems interested. These behaviors are associated with self-management, a known executive function challenge.

The seeds for social anxiety were probably planted in early childhood when you first began to realize there was something “different” about you. You may have had trouble making and keeping friends. Perhaps you were scolded for blurting things out in class or told to sit still by various adults. Other kids may have stayed away because you struggled to keep your hands to yourself. Or, maybe you were labeled a “troublemaker” and sent out of the room or had to sit close to a teacher. All of these experiences add up in your lived experience. Over time, we build self-narratives that can become emotional triggers years later.

Children learn proper social interaction by interacting with their peers and by modeling others. But kids with ADHD are often left out. It could be that social engagement was too much, or that you missed the subtle social cues. But kids can’t learn social skills when there’s no one to socialize with. So neurotypical kids tend to go one way and the neurodivergent…diverge. And they keep on diverging straight into adulthood where they’re just expected to know how to act.

It’s like being asked to play quarterback in a football game where everyone but you received a copy of the playbook.

Hello, social anxiety.

What is Social Anxiety?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, social anxiety is a chronic mental health condition characterized by “an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.” It can occur at home, work, school, and in social situations.

People with social anxiety may have a hard time speaking in public, meeting new people, going out to eat, using a public restroom, making appointments, or even interacting with an acquaintance they see on the sidewalk. Things like dating or interviewing for a new job can be paralyzing. Even just showing up to a party at their best friend’s house can leave them drained.

In many cases, socially anxious people will avoid situations that make them feel uncomfortable. This can lead to difficulty maintaining both personal and professional relationships.

It’s important to note that social anxiety is very different than just being shy. People with social anxiety experience physical symptoms such as blushing, sweating, shaking, increased heart rate, nausea, and even dissociation.

Dealing with social anxiety is difficult enough even without a comorbidity like ADHD. Combine the two and it’s not an easy path.

Strategies To Ease The Strain

If you suffer from ADHD and social anxiety, there are things that can help.

Whether you’re dealing with symptoms of social anxiety or ADHD, your first and most powerful tool is your breath. Studies have shown how breathing can instantly down-regulate your heart rate, add more oxygen to your blood and help inhibit those endless thought loops. Try Box Breathing, physiological sighs, or another technique. (Learn easy, effective breathing techniques from Hubermanlab podcast here.) Breathing is something you can do any time, and it’s free. Training yourself to use this technique when you’re spinning will take interrupting your trigger, remembering, deliberate action, and practice.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common treatment that focuses on replacing irrational beliefs with rational ones in order to reduce anxiety and help you feel more in control of yourself. You’ll learn strategies for dealing with negative thoughts, preventing procrastination and/or avoidance behaviors, and separating your perception of things from the reality of the situation.

You might also consider talking to your doctor. Many adults are finding an ADHD diagnosis later in life. With a proper, thorough ADHD diagnosis adults can see if medication helps them manage ADHD symptoms, and positively impacts social anxieties. If you’re not interested in medication, there are many drug-free alternatives that you might find helpful.

Enlisting the help of a close friend or family member can also be beneficial. Whether they join you in the social situation to provide moral support or simply help you work through your negative thoughts and visualize a successful outcome ahead of time, having your own personal cheerleader can make things a lot less scary.

Journaling, mindful meditation, and aerobic exercise are all great ways to cope with ADHD symptoms that can exacerbate social anxiety.

There’s a Better Way!

Everyone feels anxious every now and then. But when social anxiety begins to dictate how you live your life, it’s time for a change. The seeds may have been planted in early childhood, but it’s never too late to discover a better way to manage your ADHD and social anxiety.

Are you interested in improving your focus and accountability? As a certified ADHD Coach, I can help! Click here to book your FREE Discovery Call. I can’t wait to connect with you!

Related

Filed Under: ADHD, ADHD Coaching, anxiety, Boundaries, Uncategorized · Tagged With: ADHD Adult, ADHD coach, ADHD diagnosis, ADHD Relationship, anxiety

About Cena Block

Welcome readers! If this is your first time visiting my blog, thank you for stopping by. I'm Cena and I work with high performers, professionals, and entrepreneurs with ADHD. If you're an entrepreneur or high- performing professional who is distracted, overwhelmed, and feeling lost in the shuffle, let's talk. As a Certified Productivity Coach (CPC-2020) and Certified Organizer Coach (COC-2017) and Productivity Consultant, I can help. I work with clients in 3 different ways: Coach, Consultant, and Productivity. Together we help you slow down, focus and get curious. Weekly coaching sessions help you recognize when your inner critic is in your way, and provide small steps forward. ADHD brains work differently than neurotypical brains. While freedom and flexibility energize you, routines, tracking, and systems help you calm down, cut the chaos, and provide the grounding your brain needs to be at its best. Working with a Certified ADHD Coach is essential. I can help you understand how your ADHD shows up. Together we grow your business and improve your career results while finding quality time for family, your passions and yourself!

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Cena Block is the founder of Sane Spaces.com and creator of the TSSI™. She works with smart, savvy professionals and entrepreneurs with ADHD to build systems that support success while not burning out! Take the first step: https://sanespaces.com/contact/

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